Funny Convo’s with James

James: Mom, why do you have to go to the eye doctor?

Mom: Because, that’s just something people have to do when they get older.

James: Well, I don’t think you’re old, Mom……you’re not even DEAD yet!

– – – – – – – – – – – – –

James: Mom, where does the baby come OUT?

Mom: (silence) Um …..

James: Does he come out of your MOUTH?

Mom: I can honestly tell you that babies do NOT come out of Mommy’s mouths.

James: Then, where do they come out?

Mom: God created Mommy’s with special ….. body parts to give birth to their babies … parts just for Mommys

James: So, boys don’t have them?

Mom: No, they sure don’t.

James: So ….

Mom: (interrupt) How about mac & cheese for dinner??  (distraction successful) 🙂

– – – – – – – – – – –

James: Mom, was there a punishment for Adam and Eve when they sinned in the garden?

Mom: Oh, yes there was.  Man was told that he would have to work really hard, and sweat while he works to make sure there’s enough food to feed his family and he would have to do that all of his life.  The woman was going to have pain during delivering her babies.

James: So, they were the only ones that got in trouble …. the serpent didn’t get in trouble?

Mom: Oh, no … he got in trouble too.

James: What was his punishment?

Mom: Well, he was told that he was going to be feared by men, they would want to kill him  (snakes), he would try to bite people and also he lost his legs and had to get around on his belly from then on.  Can you believe that snakes used to have legs?  If you think about it, all of God’s creation has legs …. giraffes, elephants, tigers, cats, dogs …..

James: (thinking) ….. So, did the SNAILS sin too?

(of course, he thought of the OTHER animal that crawls around on his belly!)

– – – – – – – – – – – –

I picked out a shirt for him to wear to a church event, just a solid color shirt with different colored stripes …. his response to the shirt I picked out, in his words, were ….. “Mom, can I wear a shirt that’s a little more predictable?”  (he’s 5, by the way!) 🙂

– – – – – – – – – – – –

(Passing a large cemetery)
James: Wow, Mom! A lot of people died here. It almost looks like a garage sale.
Mom: What?
James: You know, if garage sales sold stones.
Of course.

– – – – – – – – – – – –

I could hear violent page turning coming from the back of the car, so I asked James what he was doing …. he said, “I just love Jesus SO much that I wanted to find ALL of His pictures in my Bible book!”

– – – – – – – – – – – –

James, after seeing the baby’s ultrasound picture said to me,

James: “Mom ….. the baby looks stripey”

Mom: …… the baby looks STRIPEY?  What do you mean?”

James: “Look at all of those black and white stripes”

Mom: “Oh, yea … you’re right.  It does look a little bit like that”

….(pause) ….

James: “Mom???  Are you going to have a baby ZEBRA??”



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